Do you ever Google yourself?
Not so often. Say every three hours. But lately Google often asks "Did you mean Winona Reder", who turns out to be a former conveyancer from Austin. That's quite annoying, but not as much embarassing as finding that for Yahoo my name sounds like a terrible blasphemy in Yiddish.
Do you have any new tattoos?
Yes! I have a black earthworm on my foot. It is radioactive, so I can be find if I get lost in a storm of snow, but unfortunately it works only if I'm somehow undressed.
If you could choose an animal to reincarnate in, which one would it be?
I'd have to say an ocelot.
Your zodiac sign is Scorpio. May I read you your horoscope?
OK, but I'm a bit partial regarding zodiacal rubbish.
You have amassed a lot of disgruntlement inside that can burst at any moment. You will get rid of this state only if you absolve or kill somebody who has angered you in the past.
Nice one! You are dead on!
Can you tell me the square root of 3084507409?
Even a confounded jackal can answer that, provided it has gained a thumb and an abacus.
You appear to be always so cheerful and joyful. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. I think that every person has two sides. At times, when I bump into a so-called artist, my vision fades out and disgust makes my legs give out. And then, without warning, I fight the need to eradicate that fool from the earth and pirouette on her cold grave. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to know about that side.
You are always in tip-top condition. How do you do that?
I have devised the Blue Diet: during the month of November I eat nothing but blue foods, like blueberries, blue corn, blue potatoes and blue jays died by natural causes.
• e-mail: yutmeyut -at- gmail.com • Disclaimer & Privacy •