A talk with Zach Galifianakis
Zach Galifianakis
Zach Galifianakis born October 1st, 1969 (Libra)
Zach Galifianakis spent 3 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before he got the idea it was not the Best Western hotel. To his advantage, he learnt to levitate, just a little (source)

If you didn't grow up to become known as the actor Zach Galifianakis, what do you think you would have done?
I would have enrolled at Brown University, signed up for Psychiatrical Logic 101, failed, and bailed out a month after that with a gambling addiction.

What have you got in your pocket?
I got a shitload of banknotes in my pockets. You can watch them, you can ever caress them, but they are mine, all mine. My preciouss roll of banknotes...

If I may ask, do you have any peculiar phobia?
Yes, I do! I have acquired an irrational phobia for mechanical typewriters, on account of a bizzarre accident happened to my uncle. I'm also terrified by lions, but that is quite normal.

Is there something you would like to do right now?
Well, take a nap in the sun.

Zach, what’s your biggest defect?
I often allure interviewers. But I'm not that drunk right now so if you do not pass out you are going to be relatively safe.

Do you use a pseudonym when you book a flight? You know, to protect your privacy and to elude stalkers and supporters
Sure! I do whatever is necessary to get rid of those gremlins. I mostly use the alias "Zach Gulifianakis".

On a scale of one to ten, how famous do you think you are?
I don't know. Probably, I'm a three in Mongolia, but a nine in Las Vegas.

Have you ever participated in a séance?
I'll do! But just once. It was an excruciating experience. Suddenly, the ghost of Isaac Asimov manifested and determined that I'm probably the reincarnation of William Shakespeare's food taster.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Zach Galifianakis' home telephone number :
6939273224 8689404596 9313603658 8306658829 427474708 811087508 2059237364 2822649856 8999637320 693885011 2280154486 6582941731 8458210785 214123757 795670803 9089521516 9430114665 8424134847 377450011 5036433496
To be sincere, my director had patiently set up my exchange with Zach Galifianakis several days beforehand. Unluckily, my pet rabbit got amebiasis, so I had to skip the exchange. So, the transcript above is essentially based on what Zach Galifianakis would have probably said if I have met him, as indicated by a telephonic poll involving a couple of his fans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.