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A conversation with Zoë Kravitz
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Zoë Kravitz
Zoë Kravitz born December 1st, 1988 (Sagittarius)
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The typical look of her followers (pixabay photo)

Is there something you would like to do right now?
Quite. Read the death notice of my worst enemy.

Nowaday the problem of malaria in horses is reaching gigantic proportions. Are you doing something to alleviate the problem?
Yep! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a fan one night a week. The proceeds ($1,000/night) will be donated to an organization for the cure of malaria in horses.

Do you do your own shopping?
I'm too busy doing very important things for the humankind and I can't waste time on such technicalities. I have a bunch of Princeton dropouts to compile my grocery list and pass it along to a gang of professional buyers scattered around the globe. For the clothes, I ever hire a number of doubles, each sharing with me the measure of one body part.

Zoë, what’s your biggest defect?
A few people say that I have a propensity to yell abusive commentaries, but they are just clueless cockalorums.

When you were a little girl, did you see acting as your career?
Actually, no. My imaginary friend and I decided that I would have become a dentist. But, you know, things don't always go as planned.

Could you authenticate the gossip about your participation in the rogue crisis of mermaid pictures?
Thou, beslubbering motley-minded clotpole! How do you dare?

Do you ever Google yourself?
Say every day or so. But lately Google often asks "Did you mean Zoë Krevitz", who happens to be a retired diver from Phoenix. That's quite saddening, but not as much upsetting as finding that according to Yahoo my name is similar to a horrible blasphemy in Japanese.

Can you tell me the square root of 3316885422?
According to my fans the politically correct answer is something around 16.

Zoë Kravitz refused to let me know her private telephone number, but here is a list of random numbers you can dream about :
740252726 586676611 6446299903 8576213881 2875968018 3482539059 3426397978 5335580332 6962246435 898371803 3669247358 9980088180 4105587097 7934674177 4483252346 2342350174 9332560603 2993782245 2368402908 953802973
To be frank, my director had planned my brief rendezvous with Zoë Kravitz many months beforehand. Unluckily, I realized at the last moment that I had better things to do, like breeding scorpions or visiting Canada. So, this web page is essentially the elaboration of a dream I had following a large dinner based on cabbage stew and deep-fried eggplants.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.