A conversation with Zoe Saldana
Zoe Saldana
Zoe Saldana born June 19th, 1978 (Gemini)
In a brief moment of reverie, Zoe Saldana has subscribed a petition against whales, thereby referred to as "those useless pitiful imitation of a fish" (pixabay photo)

Who were you in your first school play?
It was rather embarassing. It was a play on the life of Socrates. I played Aladdin: the author was a famed alcoholic.

Do you like to cook?
To be honest, I believe that cooking food is quite a waste of time, since there are bistros and canteens more than willing to deliver my daily dose of sugars and vitamines. The few times I cook for my disciples, I like to design salads. My most cherished one is a mix of beef jerk and soybeans, which I assume can be fine for both vegans and normal people.

Interesting! Would you like to share the recipe?
Sure! You take the beef jerk and the soybeans and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some rye bread.

Do not mind, I obtained the recipe from one for a sandwich. After you made those sandwiches, you throw away the bread and mix beef jerk and soybeans with some salt and pepper and you are done!

If you could choose an animal to reincarnate in, which one would it be?
I'd have to say a sheep.

Your zodiac sign is Gemini. May I read you your horoscope?
Naturally! My fans say I'm a sucker for zodiacal nonsense.

You have gathered a lot of disgruntlement inside that can discharge at any moment. You will feel yourself again only if you excuse or take revenge upon somebody who has angered you in the past.
Very well! You are spot on!

What is your take of the current Oscar quarreling?
To be sincere, this has always been an elephant in the room.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Zoe Saldana's private telephone number :
2273701416 7727668112 9098551876 4672290812 502228589 5017125333 8108997701 3332489035 2052580794 9539688985 9315083208 4974228189 8915872090 775653481 8931670142 512892950 6126164202 4250590893 2683352492 7346675851
To be sincere, my director had patiently scheduled my brief rendezvous with Zoe Saldana several weeks beforehand. Regrettably, I realized at the last moment that I had better things to do, like growing mosses or visiting Canada. So, the interview above is essentially the impression of a nightmare I had following a dinner of liver pâté and wild boar stew.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.