An interview with Zooey Deschanel
Zooey Deschanel
Zooey Deschanel born January 17th, 1980 (Capricorn)
One of Zooey Deschanel's most firm new year resolutions is to obtain soon a special license for operating a hovercraft (source)

Zooey, which is your secret for eternal beauty?
Curiously, it is a weekly shower in fresh tomato soup.

Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, I'm allergic to ferrets, calcium sulfate and negativity.

Do you have a favorite book?
I'm addicted to "The Picture of Dorian Gray" by Orson Wide.

You surely mean, by Oscar Wilde?
I seriously doubt it, but I've heard it both ways.

What is your opinion about global warming?
My opinion is that global warming is a grave problem. Anyway, my fans will surely be pleased to know that my next mansion will be at least 90 feet above the sea-level.

Do people yell your name and ask for autographs everywhere you go?
Dog my cats! I dig people's mind. My power is that I'm all-embracing: I'm known to move acclaimed cosmonauts and desperate accountants in the same fashion. Say, there are at least 13 avenues with my name in three different countries, not counting Bhutan and Bangalla.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I imagine a weasel. A big, fat, poised weasel, full and dozy in a summer breeze.

How do you invest all the dough you made?
If you have money to invest, I can organize a meeting with some guys from Colombia who can make you a juicy offer. You can give them a photo of your kids as a sign of your good will.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Zooey Deschanel's secret telephone number :
6680200340 328937128 4060373396 9892815057 557005872 683518097 2068549130 5848000026 9863646622 7511082231 7076832306 2869958678 795353662 887466227 9823207543 726607964 7285060631 8227099266 2340024226 917523990
I lay in wait for many years for a chance to have a short appointment with Zooey Deschanel. The resulting transcription was imposing, like "All Quiet on the Western Front" rewritten by Catwoman. It was lamentable, to put it mildly, that my koala set my only copy on fire! After I restored my sobriety, I made an effort to recall those mind-blowing words. To be honest, I'm not so sure this web page is an entirely factual chronicle of what transpired during our meeting, and thus I'm beginning to question whether it actually took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.